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Deviant for 5 Years
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Newest Deviations

M.E.D.I.-BAE on the job by bellydoom M.E.D.I.-BAE on the job :iconbellydoom:bellydoom 192 9 Tsuyu's Smile by bellydoom Tsuyu's Smile :iconbellydoom:bellydoom 292 8 Saipu-Waifu Photo by bellydoom Saipu-Waifu Photo :iconbellydoom:bellydoom 225 16 A Goddess's Treasure by bellydoom A Goddess's Treasure :iconbellydoom:bellydoom 96 7 Trade: Zara Atheris by bellydoom
Mature content
Trade: Zara Atheris :iconbellydoom:bellydoom 228 7
Urbosa's Motherhood by bellydoom Urbosa's Motherhood :iconbellydoom:bellydoom 440 11 Nagala Glancing Back by bellydoom Nagala Glancing Back :iconbellydoom:bellydoom 120 7 Tsukimi's Birthday Surprise by bellydoom Tsukimi's Birthday Surprise :iconbellydoom:bellydoom 543 17 Cross-Crescent Birthday 2016 by bellydoom
Mature content
Cross-Crescent Birthday 2016 :iconbellydoom:bellydoom 164 9
Vote To Grow - Round 2 by bellydoom
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Vote To Grow - Round 2 :iconbellydoom:bellydoom 254 13
Mayternity Round 1 by bellydoom
Mature content
Mayternity Round 1 :iconbellydoom:bellydoom 257 9
May-ternity: Velna Vs Sushiko by bellydoom
Mature content
May-ternity: Velna Vs Sushiko :iconbellydoom:bellydoom 165 21
Husky and Nagala by bellydoom Husky and Nagala :iconbellydoom:bellydoom 157 7 Drawpile - Pregnant Slimegirls by bellydoom
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Drawpile - Pregnant Slimegirls :iconbellydoom:bellydoom 187 13
Drawpile with CoffeSlice - FlutterGala w/ Espresso by bellydoom
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Drawpile with CoffeSlice - FlutterGala w/ Espresso :iconbellydoom:bellydoom 179 16
Massive Elf Sketch (Alt) by bellydoom Massive Elf Sketch (Alt) :iconbellydoom:bellydoom 233 12

Favourites

Blue Drip is on vacation by AskBumpyWish Blue Drip is on vacation :iconaskbumpywish:AskBumpyWish 167 10 Com - White Heart 1 by Funble
Mature content
Com - White Heart 1 :iconfunble:Funble 58 6
Sayakaposepracticex2-wip by Nsio
Mature content
Sayakaposepracticex2-wip :iconnsio:Nsio 99 1
Nsio Pose Practice 14: Sachiko! by Nsio Nsio Pose Practice 14: Sachiko! :iconnsio:Nsio 1,002 73 Sachiko and Tsuneo at the beach! by Nsio Sachiko and Tsuneo at the beach! :iconnsio:Nsio 425 35 hotaru big belly [commission] by gao-lukchup
Mature content
hotaru big belly [commission] :icongao-lukchup:gao-lukchup 339 42
preg Saya dagashi kashi  [fanart] by gao-lukchup
Mature content
preg Saya dagashi kashi [fanart] :icongao-lukchup:gao-lukchup 370 10
she name Music [BNK48 thai idol girl group] by gao-lukchup she name Music [BNK48 thai idol girl group] :icongao-lukchup:gao-lukchup 236 5 full body ver. of my friend OC [narasak] by gao-lukchup full body ver. of my friend OC [narasak] :icongao-lukchup:gao-lukchup 288 7 my friend OC [narasak] by gao-lukchup my friend OC [narasak] :icongao-lukchup:gao-lukchup 425 10 Chickenwoman Lila by OfaMightDivine Chickenwoman Lila :iconofamightdivine:OfaMightDivine 528 19 Coco-nuts by Mac-Nova
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Coco-nuts :iconmac-nova:Mac-Nova 549 15
[AT] But Hg shouldn't Float! by Mac-Nova
Mature content
[AT] But Hg shouldn't Float! :iconmac-nova:Mac-Nova 387 6
[Holiday/OC CPC] Insert StarWars Quote here by Mac-Nova
Mature content
[Holiday/OC CPC] Insert StarWars Quote here :iconmac-nova:Mac-Nova 1,039 55
[GIFT] 1/4 of the way done by Mac-Nova
Mature content
[GIFT] 1/4 of the way done :iconmac-nova:Mac-Nova 666 14
[GIFT] Pizza and Roboz by Mac-Nova
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[GIFT] Pizza and Roboz :iconmac-nova:Mac-Nova 766 18
Well, I just wanted to give a heads up that I might be pretty unstable for the next while.

My family dog (admittedly, she's ancient as Golden Retrievers go) is nearly 15 and has a lump in her mouth that appears to have caused an abscessed tooth, and the abscessed tooth appears to have caused swelling in her cheek, which has swollen her eye shut. She has surgery on (hopefully) Wednesday, when the first doctor we talked to said she should get it operated on on Monday if we can. She has since started pawing her eye and it has started bleeding. As I am kind of a hypochondriac, I worry that she won't even last that long.

As a cheery Father's Day exercise, my sister (who my dad is visiting for the evening, after I had lunch with him today) tried to talk him out of spending the money, just as he had finally talked himself into that it could be worth paying for the surgery because at the rate she's been, she might last another year or two? (seems insane, but she's been very stable for years, other than this)

I honestly have no idea what's even going to happen any more.
I blamed my sister after I heard she said that.
I feel like I'd blame myself if I didn't pay for it if they refused to, even though I can't really afford it either.
I don't know how much longer she'd live if we do nothing. I don't know how much longer she'd live if we did fix this.
There's always the chance her organs aren't in good enough shape for surgery anyway, because her vet doc took bloodwork when we were there on Friday, to check if she can even take surgery in her condition, since she's so old.

I just.... know that no matter what way this situation goes, I am going to be a major mess.
This dog was my best friend through some VERY dark years of my life, and while I acknowledge that she can't go on forever, I know it is going to hurt me a LOT to lose her...

When my grandmother died, it was the start of a long process of me trying to let go of the past, which I clung to too strongly because of the near absolute lack of good things in my life in recent years (and bad health issues ; w ; ) compared to the happier (albeit still moderately depressing) years of my childhood.

I don't even know if this is some sort of whatever-point life crisis I'm going through at this point, just that I know that my old identity from my childhood has to die, for the adult me to flourish. ...And it pains me to think that losing my dog would need to be part of that...

(side-note, it was my 30th birthday this year on February 13th. Not to be even more of a downer but it was an extremely depressing birthday for me, in part because pretty much everyone I did stuff for last year forgot I even existed, and turning 30 is depressing for me to begin with, with all these health issues and lack of employment because of said health issues... As if the world needed me to feel even more alone by killing off my furry best friend dog after that mess... )


...So, yeah.
Just a heads up to anyone out there if anyone actually reads this shit: "I'm not saying I'm going to do anything because I don't see myself as that kind of person, but pretend I'm on suicide watch, just in case" =w=;;

AKA: "I'm really struggling right now and admit that I need all the friends I can get right now, while generally assuming I have none."

So yeah.
That's my life.
How are you?

Friends

Comments


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:iconthebonggolem:
TheBongGolem Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeeee!!! Thank you for the watch!
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:iconcolderbing:
colderbing Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2017  Student General Artist
Happy B-lated B-day! Hope you got to enjoy it.
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:iconbellydoom:
bellydoom Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2017
Thanks, was alright ^^
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:iconteslarossa:
Teslarossa Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2017
Happy birthday!
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:iconbellydoom:
bellydoom Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2017
Thank you! : 3
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:iconteslarossa:
Teslarossa Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2017
Welcome!
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:icona0iisa:
A0IISA Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthday!
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:iconbellydoom:
bellydoom Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2017
Thanks ^^
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:iconsanna2011:
Sanna2011 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Birthday! :hug:
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:iconbellydoom:
bellydoom Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2017
Thank you! ^-^
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